Why do Marriages Fail ?

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Marriage , in the more traditional understanding is a covenant of partnership between a man and a woman , within the context of a particular societal group. The rules that govern this partnership vary from community to community, but the bedrock is always that of trust and empathy between the partners, for each other, extending outwards into society as a model of human happiness, expressed in the form of greater participation in society , all the while doing their bit to ensure the continuity of the human race.

Individuals seldom enter into a covenant of marriage expecting it to fail, but in these fast paced times , the increasing influx of technology and wanton materialism in our day to day existence is leading to the erosion of once held societal norms that held marriages together, and that is reflected in the large number of separations this once holy institution is now facing.

A cursory look at the family courts in our country gives us an idea about how large the problem is, with scores of young , talented individuals rushing to courts within just a few years of declaring the vows, to have them undone. Especially in India, a country being divided more and more on caste, community and religious lines , the institution of marriage is under threat .

In order for marriages to be successful in these disastrous times of COVID-19 and the ensuing economic downturn , it is important to have an idea of what challenges one will face, and take measures to prevent these challenges from ruining your life.

While no one can afford a failed marriage, those who are not financially secure can afford it less. When entering into an agreement with an individual to share your life, a lot of mental preparation is required so as to make the journey a lifelong one, and nothing prepares us for a long haul like financial stability.

Without financial stability in the 21st century , the marriage will be constantly under strain, with individual expectations not matching up to results. In short the financial implications of coming together cannot be ignored while entering into any nuptial agreement.

On a philosophical note, it is very difficult to gauge what tomorrows reality will be like, and thus practically impossible to prepare well for a reality that one has not even envisaged. That is why an institution like marriage which is a 40 to 50 year commitment is something that we should take our time whilst deciding.

The common argument in defense of marriage that one always likes to maintain is that it is God who is bringing the person into our life, but the practical dimension of an ever changing reality where the relationship is under new stress' and strains , should caution us to be careful while stepping into such an engagement, ever more so if we believe it is a covenant between man and woman with God as the chief witness, signatory and benefactor.

The greatest tragedy that befalls a marriage is when a couple wakes up one day to realize they have nothing in common with each other, and their coming together was more of falling to societal pressure than actually a leading from a higher power. In such cases, seeking the counsel of a trusted friend or counselor is always practical. Seeking counsel is a constructive solution and not one that is a signal that things in a marriage are particularly bad. In fact it is not seeking counsel at these moments that are a distress signal, because one is trying to sort out the problems that exist by themselves, out of a fear of societal stigma.

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